Naruto omakes
by jackalope33
Summary: just some omakes i thought up but will probrably never have a chance to use. doesn't follow any specific order nor timeline , some characters may seem OOC and/or have powers they don't at the time
1. Chapter 1

A/N just some omakes i thought up, if you would like to use it please pm me so i can check out your story(its just a formal thing, i'm going to say yes anyways) and just to be clear nothing follows any chronological order, dates may be incorrect and some things happened in different times to suit the omakes

(Chunin exams Sasuke vs Gaara) take 1

Sasuke crouched on top of the wall preparing to attack the sand sphere, he ran down and dodged the spikes from the ground and thrust his hand into the sphere with a cry of "Chidori!"

He felt something warm dripping down his hand and smirked.

"YOU HIT ME!" came the shocked and pained cry of Gaara. It was at that moment that sasuke looked around and saw the audience falling asleep. Enraged he shouted "you don't fall asleep during my match!" during his distraction he failed to notice the sand crawling up to him and with a cry of "Sand Coffin" Sasuke Uchiha, the last loyal Uchiha was no more.

(Chunin exams Sasuke vs Gaara) take 2

Sasuke crouched on top of the wall preparing to attack the sand sphere, he ran down and dodged the spikes from the ground and thrust his hand into the sphere with a cry of "Chidori!"

He felt something warm dripping down his hand and smirked.

"YOU HIT ME!" came the shocked and pained cry of Gaara. It was at that moment that sasuke looked around and saw all but his loyal fan girl, Sakura falling asleep. Sakura seeing everyone falling asleep during "her Sasuke's" match let out a screech that broke all the windows in the Land of Fire, "Don't fall asleep in Sasuke's match!" this woke everyone up and made all the invading shinobi deaf or at least in need of a hearing aid. The invasion was called off due to the Third Hokage dying of a heart attack and Orochimaru needing to switch bodies.

(Chunin exams Naruto vs Neji)

"You cannot win, fate has named me the winner and you are fated to lose" came the arrogant voice of Neji. "Oh yeah? How did you know fate didn't name me the winner? Did fate come down and tell you?" Naruto shot back.

Neji taken back couldn't answer the questions but was not about to give up so easily, "The Byakugan sees all, including the will of fate" once again Naruto proved his title as the most surprising ninja. He pulled a notepad from nowhere and gave it to Neji, "ok tell me what does fate look like?" unable to answer Neji forfeited the match in search of the answer. He now lives as a hermit drawing pictures of people in hopes he could find one that resembles fate.

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If you have any you would like me to do, just pm me or put in in a review


	2. Chapter 2

It's been a while since I updated so here's a new omake. It's dedicated to Third Fang for the most amazing time travel story ever! Go read "Yet again with a little extra help"

Ps if you haven't gotten up to episode 421 of Naruto shippuden I don't recommend reading this chapter

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Guy vs Madara

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As Guy was panting from using the eighth gate and attacking the 3rd jinchuuriki of the 10-tails with his "evening elephant", he was surprised to see Madara still standing with a crazed look on his face.

"I acknowledge this chakra of yours! Of all those who fought me over the years, there is no one who surpasses you at taijutsu!" Madara said as Guy started preparing for his final technique.

"I MADARA DECLARE YOU THE STRONGEST!" and with that it was as if a switch was flipped. Guy stopped his technique and the eight gates as he started crying. "YES! I HAVE BEEN AKNOWLAGED BY SEMPAI! I KNEW MY FLAMES OF YOUTH WOULD PREVAIL!"

Seeing this all but lee sweat dropped while Madara just cried "I'm not even your sempai!"

"GUY SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GUY SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

And the embraced in the ultimate form of man hugs. It was so powerful it forced the ten tails out of Madara and fled in terror. Guy turned around to thank Madara and get an autograph but saw him lying on the ground bleeding from his Rinnegan eyes and mouth. He died a minute later, whether from blood loss, tailed beast extraction or brain overload no one knows.

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Guy vs Madara alternate ending

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"I MADARA DECLARE YOU THE STRONGEST!" and with that it was as if a switch was flipped. Guy stopped his technique and the eight gates as he started crying. "YES! I HAVE BEEN NOTICED BY SEMPAI!"

He then ran up to Madara and gave him a big bear hug crying and asking for an autograph.

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Somewhere in another dimension…

Xxxxx

Scabbard was taking up a scalpel and about to experiment on Ghost… again

Suddenly he had this shiver, feeling as if something was not right in the universe (and also the urge to punch people who wear green spandex suits and have bowl haircuts). He was so deep in thought he didn't realise Ghost was trying to release himself after seeing that shiver. Scabbard shivering was never a good sign; most of it included fan-girls, pain and horrible things that Ghost wanted no part of. Ignoring Ghost Scabbard's struggles and seeing his sister, Shadow and brother, Crypt walk and dig in respectively, he commanded, "Report!" Shadow started, "the fluffies are anxious, whoever made them anxious must pay!"

Crypt was next, "The Floor won't tell me the secret formula and the Celling and Chairs haven't seen Santa! But the walls claim they didn't eat the cookies."

This was bad, Santa managed to evade the Floor and… ahem he meant the fluffies were rarely anxious… Scabbard stopped his train of thoughts, he's been spending too much time with his family…. "TO THE LAB, I MUST CONDUCT MORE EXPERIMENTS!" he exclaimed before he realized he was already there… "err ok everyone out, no that does not include you Ghost." He ordered seeing Ghost trying to sneak out.

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AN: For those who have read the story, what do you think of my attempt?

And for those who haven't and are into time traveling and long stories, GO READ IT!

That's all for now, pm me if you have ideas or want me to attempt a scene in the narutoverse


	3. Chapter 3

Hey there! I just thought that I would make a chapter since it's April fools day and all so a chapter it is!

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"speech"

 _"Thoughts"_

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At the valley of end-past

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"Madara!"

"Hashirama!"

These two shouts were heard as the two founders of the village hidden in the leaves unleashed their strongest techniques. As their techniques, Madara suddenly smirked, "this has gone on long enough, Hashirama." As the first Hokage looked on confused, letting his wooden golem fall apart he questioned, " what do you mean?"

Madara dropped his Susanoo and walked towards Hashirama. "I wasn't going to leave the village," he inwardly smirked even more when he saw his rival's relieved face. "Its April the first and you know what that means…" He almost laughed out loud when he saw Hashirama's shocked face, but Uchinas only smirk and never laugh- its in the handbook written by him… just as he reached Hashirama, he wrapped his arm around Hashirama and pressed a pressure point. "As I said, its April fools day and I just fooled you twice." Seeing Hashirama's shocked face over his already shocked face was like all the Christmas and his birthdays all came together and gave him a present. Madara just laughed as he ran away to the old Uchiha hideout knowing he fooled his best friend twice in a row. _"That's 200-202 to me Hashirama"_

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At valley of end-present day

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"Sasuke!"

"Naruto!"

Again the silence of the valley was broken by two friends battling it out and the trees almost seemed like they were sighing, already anticipating what will happen.

Sasuke knew that Naruto was weaker than him but even so, he wouldn't get out of this battle without some broken bones. He suddenly remembered one of the old Uchiha journals depicting the battle between Madara Uchiha and Hashirama Senju. "what do you know, its April fools day" he smirked. Guess history will repeat itself after all.

"Hey Naruto! Guess what day it is!" he shouted

The blond knucklehead looked on confused, "April the…" he suddenly remembered that today was the day was the best day for pranks. "Aw I just spent the perfect day for pranks fighting? Now I have to wait another year before using that prank involving cages, lemons, Tora and paper clips!" he pouted. "Guess I really have to beat you now, can't have me wasting a perfectly good prank day!"

By now Sasuke wasn't even listening _"how would he combine cages, lemons, Tora (he shivered at the thought of that demon) and paper clips?"_

" how about I make you a deal?" Sasuke offered, "you show me the prank next year and in return I will do a prank with you today and stay in the Leaf until April the 10th next year?"

Naruto thought about this for a while, _"hmm its not every day Sasuke helps me with a prank and he will even stay longer!"_ finally he came to a conclusion. "Fine but you will have to celebrate all the holidays from now till you leave" he negotiated as he held out his hand already imagining Sasuke in a Santa costume for Christmas and a bunny suit for Easter…

His thoughts were thankfully interrupted ( before he thought about Sasuke in a Cupid costume shooting arrows) when he felt Sasuke shake his hand, "Deal"

"Great! So I was thinking I would carry you back as a…"

And so this was how Naruto successfully completed his first mission without a sensei … guess history didn't repeat itself after all.

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Alternate ending

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The blond knucklehead looked on confused, "April the…" he suddenly remembered that today was the day was the best day for pranks. "Aw I just spent the perfect day for pranks fighting? Now I have to wait another year before using that prank involving cages, lemons, Tora and paper clips!" he pouted. "Guess I really have to beat you now, can't have me wasting a perfectly good prank day!"

By now Sasuke wasn't even listening, _"wait, that's from Madara's book of pranks! Guess I'm going to prank the pranker, can't have someone who isn't even an Uchiha use our pranks!"_

" how about I make you a deal?" Sasuke offered, "you show me the prank next year and in return I will do a prank with you today and stay in the Leaf until April the 10th next year?"

Naruto thought about this for a while, _"hmm its not every day Sasuke helps me with a prank and he will even stay longer!"_ finally he came to a conclusion. "Fine but you will have to celebrate all the holidays from now till you leave" he negotiated as he held out his hand already imagining Sasuke in a Santa costume for Christmas and a bunny suit for Easter…

His thoughts were thankfully interrupted ( before he thought about Sasuke in a Cupid costume shooting arrows) when he felt Sasuke shake his hand, "Deal"

"Great! So I was thinking I would carry you back as a…"

"Chidori!" Sasuke shouted has he plunged his lightning covered hand in Naruto's stomach. "that's for trying to steal a prank from an Uchiha! Oh and happy April fools" he shouted as he jumped away after drawing a picture of spilled ramen on Naruto's head.

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So how was it? Good ? bad?

Any mistakes I need to correct?

Any beta offers?

What did you readers do for April fools? I'm quite interested to know ;)


	4. Chapter 4

Right so I was bored and this just popped up and please can someone review or suggest (also looking for a beta even if I am one….)

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"normal talking"

 _"_ _Normal thinking"_

 **"** **god talking/technique"**

 ** _"_** ** _god thinking"_**

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Itachi vs sasuke

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"Itachi, I have hated you my whole life, now you shall die!" Shouted Sasuke.

"Foolish little brother you still don't have enough hate." Itachi replied without emotion, **"Amateratsu!"**

Sasuke was about to dodge but looked on confused when no fire appeared. "ha the gods favour me more than you" he boasted, **"Amateratsu!"** Itachi knew he wouldn't be able to dodge but with his technique he wouldn't have to, **"** **Susanoo!"** but yet again nothing happened. Now it was Itachi's turn to be confused, why weren't the techniques working?

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Up in the heavens above"

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Susanoo the storm god was laughing about some joke that Tsukuyomi made while Amateratsu just chuckled. Suddenly, Ameteratsu felt a tingle at the back of her neck ignored it. " ** _those stupid Uchihas again, they have been bugging me ever since they learned how to ask us for power, well now I'm denying their requests."_** Moments later she felt another one the same time Susanoo felt one of his own, they nodded at each other, it was time to end this annoyance.

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Back on Earth

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Itachi was getting desperate, none of his techniques were working! **"Tsukuyomi!"** he called out desperately. Then there was a flash and standing before them were three Gods and Goddesses. **"You have abused our power for too long! Now we call out power back, and to ensure that this doesn't happen again, the Uchiha line ends here!"** and with that Sasuke and Itachi burst into black flames.

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Somewhere in an unknown location

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Madara Uchiha was talking with Danzo about joining the Akatsuki when both simultaneously burst into black flames for no apparent reason.

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With no Madara to take over the world, the fourth shinobi war was cancelled and everyone lived happily ever after, even if Naruto couldn't keep his promise but he soon forgot about that when he got married and became Hokage.


	5. Chapter 5

Just an idea I got off Black' Victor Cachat's Naruto- the Darkest Hour, The Ultimate Forbidden Technique.

* * *

Battle against Madara, ten-tails and Obito

* * *

When the 10-tails sent one of its tails at Naruto, everyone felt despair, that despair was temporarily taken away when Neji jumped in the way and saved him. However, it was brought back full force when they remembered that none of their techniques worked. Fire style, Water style, Earth style, Wind style, collaborations, bloodline techniques, none. All of it were shrugged off by the towering tailed beast.

Naruto decided on one thing. He would have to do it, the Ultimate Forbidden technique. The only one labeled SS-rank, not due to chakra cost, but due to the potential harm on the user and the victim.

" _Kurama_ " he thought, " _I'm going to use_ that _technique, if I don't survive this, I just wanted to say, it's been fun working with you_ "

The fox's eyes widened, " **you are a suicidal dumbass!** "

" _No choice, it's either do it, with a small chance of it working, or don't do it and have no chance of winning._ " Naruto argued.

" **Fine, if I'm going to be killed that way, I want to have a lasting effect on this world, so let's…** "

Naruto's eyes widened, if they added those together, it will be the ultimate collaboration technique. The strongest one created since collaboration techniques were discovered.

" _Shikaku, you there?_ " he asked mentally.

" _Yes Naruto, what is it?_ " came the reply.

" _I have an idea that could kill me, but I need your help to…_ "

Shikaku's eyes widened, " _I'm so glad I'm not on the battlefield right now_ "

* * *

Hinata had been extremely saddened when Neji died, but now she was feeling extremely worried, she saw Naruto's face set in what can only described as "grim determination" as if he was about to do something that would kill him.

Hinata then heard an order to prepare a genjutsu enhancer, though confused like all other genjutsu experts, she still followed the order. No one was prepared for what happened next.

Naruto slowly got up slowly doing hand-signs, "you do not understand. Everyone! Hear me out! We are not losing this war because we lack the strength or jutsu! We are losing this war because we. Lack. YOUTH!"

All the ninja who had come from Leaf's eyes widened before they all started to close and pull out earplugs from their pouches, leaving the others confused and helpless to what they were about to witness.

"LEE! NARUTO IS RIGHT! WE HAVE NOT BEEN YOUTHFUL ENOUGH! WE MUST BECOME EXPONENTIALY MORE YOUTHFUL TO MAKE UP FOR IT!"

"YES GAI-SENSEI! LET US SHOW EVERYONE THE POWER OF THE SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH!"

"YES LET US SHOW THEM THE SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH AND HOW IT BURNS BRIGHTER THAN ANY FIRE NINJUTSU!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

The duo then embraced in the epitome of man-hugs, unleashing their deadly sunset genjutsu. However, due to the genjutsu enhancer, it had now become even deadlier, turning the entire battlefield into a huge beach with a sunset (even though it was still midnight). The duo was then magnified for all to see, they grew to the size of the tailed beasts and a wave that shadowed them both crashed on the beach.

The 10-tails was forced to see all of this with perfect clarity due to his gigantic sharingan eye and was driven insane. It threw its head up causing the two Uchiha to fall off. In its desperate flailing, it accidentally squashed Black Zetsu, who was also in shock and actually burning from the amount of youth he was exposed to.

This was where phase 2 began.

As the genjutsu started taking effect, the two Uchiha had closed their eyes to protect their mentality. Now, out of the beach, came hundreds of girls with all shapes and sizes, but they all had one thing in common. None of them were wearing anything. The only things concealing them were small puffs of clouds that were strategically placed.

"Madara-sama! Obito-sama!" they called in seductively cute voices.

Both the Uchiha just so happened to be closet perverts and the hundreds of cute voices forced them to open up their eyes. When their eyes widened, the girls then took even more seductive poses, causing them to have a gigantic nose-bleed. Obito, not having the luck of being immortal, died immediately of blood loss. Madara, however had such a gigantic nose bleed that he shot the sealing tag out, making him lost the last of his immortality. Though not dead, he was still passed out.

" **NAAARRRUUUUUTTOOOOOOOO!"** came the angry shot of all the kunoichi. Naruto paled and tried to find an escape, but the kunoichi were coming in all directions. Having not found an exit, he decided to fall back on his basics. He used substitution with the unconscious form of Madara Uchiha. The kunoichi were so lost in their fury they never noticed the switch.

Only when they had beaten Madara Uchiha into something near unrecognizable, had they come to their senses and realized Naruto had made a switch. Turning around, they saw a gigantic Naruto (which was just the 10-tails under a strong transformation), their fury started again and they lost all reasoning. The beating of the 10-tails finally relieved them of their fury so they didn't assault the real Naruto when he finally dug his way out of the 10-tails corpse.

The 10-tails then started glowing and split into 9 parts, one of which entered Naruto, thus completing the 9-tails once again. The other 8 parts split into the 8 tailed beasts once again.

" _well, we survived it"_ Naruto though, relived, _"and the 10-tails can't be reformed because the body had been completely destroyed"_

* * *

AN: and that's all! Tell me what you all thought!


	6. Chapter 6

Everyone is a pervert. Inspired by encyclopedia ninja by drunkdragon

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"These are the signs for summoning" Jiraiya said while doing the handseals slowly. "Bird, Boar, Dog, Dragon, Hare, Horse, Monkey, Ox, Ram, Rat, Serpent, Tiger. **Summoning Jutsu!** "

Naruto watched as a puff of smoke indicated the success of the jutsu.

"Now your turn" Jiraiya said, standing up.

"Uhh right!" Naruto stammered. "Umm lets see… Bird, Boar, Dog, Dragon, Hare, Horse, Monkey, Ox, Ram, Serpent, Tiger, Rat! **Summoning jutsu!** " he said before Jiraiya could stop him.

"Dammit Naruto! It was Rat, Serpent, Tiger!" Jiraiya shouted before fearfully looking into the dissipating cloud of smoke… only to go flying back as the large shadow of a gigantic naked woman could be seen.

" _best jutsu mess-up ever!"_ was the Sage's last thoughts before passing out.

Naruto looked at the Sanin with a sweardrop before turning to the woman and shouting up "Hi, my name's Naruto!"

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3 years later

Naruto, Sakura and Sai stared up at the figure of Sasuke.

"Enough playing Sasuke! It's time to come home!" Naruto shouted.

"No! I still need to extract my vengeance on Itachi" he shouted back "Now, get out my way! **Summoning jutsu!** " with that, a large snake around the size of a large Boa appeared.

"If that's how you want to play! **Summoning jutsu!** " Naruto countered.

"Ha! What a deadlast! Those aren't even the correct order of signs for the… summoning…" Sasuke's mock trailed off as the large image of a busty woman appeared. At that moment, all of the functions in sasuke's brain shut down. Both he, and his summoned snake flew backwards in a spectacular spray of blood. Sasuke hit his head against a rock while the snake was dispelled from losing too much blood.

Team 7 looked at each other and shrugged. All the less work for them if he was knocked out. Was the general thought as they went to pick him up and bound him before taking him back to the Leaf.

None of them noticed a chakra exhausted Orochimaru and Kabuto hidden in the bushes. None of them saw the bloodstains coming from their noses either.

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One year later

The allied shinobi forces looked on in horror as Obito became the second Jinchuriki of the 10-tails.

"Now, I am unbeatable!" he declared.

"Not if we have anything to say about it! Team 7 Summons formation!" the newly reunited team 7 declared together.

All three bit their thumbs and summoned their respective summon.

Obito merely looked amused as he dodged a spray of acid from Katsuyu and turned around to block the fangs of Aoba. He felt a presence behind him and turned around to punch the attacker. Only to stop short of hitting a small child with large teary eyes.

"Huh?" was all he managed to say before a larger form obscured his vision. Obito slowly raised his head to see the underside of the large bust of a huge woman before furious face appeared above it.

" **hentai!** " she screamed before kicking him so hard he landed next to Madara around 100 meters away.

Madara looked down at Obito who was supporting a large amount of broken ribs from where he was kicked and had a goofy smile with blood trailing from his nose.

He scoffed. " _So much for being unbeatable_ " he thought before looking at his new adversary with his Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan, ready to consume her with the unquenchable flames of Amaterasu.

But due to the fact his sharingan gave him eagle eyesight, he saw every detail on her. From her smooth curves to her perfect skin.

Blood erupted from his nose like a geyser and he flew back 50 feet. By the time anyone saw him, there was already a large puddle of blood around him.

Hashirama approached his rival, "Wow, never knew you had so much blood in you Madara" he remarked.

It was at that moment that Madara wanted to crawl into a hole and die from his embarrassment. Wait, he can!

Struggling to raise his hands, he weaved the handseals to allow a hole large enough to comfortable fit him and deep enough that no one could dig him out before he died. He slowly crawled towards the hole and promptly fell in it while closing the opening.

Xxx

Kakashi slowly approached Obito who was mouthing some words. The copycat ninja leaned down to hear him better.

"If going back to the Leaf means I get to see this, then I happily oblige." He said before passing out from bloodloss.

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AN: so, I haven't updated this for a while so I thought "why not?"

To anyone who is confused, Naruto performed the wrong order of handsigns for the summoning jutsu and summoned a large busty woman. In the end he had enough control to summon a small child and the large busty woman at the same time.

To my fans reading Naruto of the Blue Sharingan, don't worry, I'll still update that one on the weekends.


	7. Chapter 7

Well this one popped up when someone answered my question when I commented on a video as to why Lee didn't fall in the water if he couldn't use chakra.

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Outside Akatsuki base

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Kakashi, Naruto, Sakura and Chiyo arrived outside an Akatsuki base and found Team Gai waiting for them. After a loud greeting from Gai, Naruto noticed Lee standing on water.

"Hey Lee! Glad to see you finally able to use chakra!" he congratulated. "What do you mean Naruto?" asked Lee, extremely confused, after all Naruto knew that he would not be able to use chakra.

"I mean that you are using chakra to water walk, how else could you stand on this lake?" Naruto looked pointedly at him. "You mean this isn't a big puddle?" asked Lee. "No Lee, this lake is at least 10 meters deep." Naruto sighed. Lee's eyes widened as gravity no longer allowed Lee to defy it any longer and caused him to sink to the bottom faster than anyone could react (he was wearing a couple hundred pounds of extra weights after all). Gai quickly took off his own weights and dived under to tell Lee to do the same and swim back up.

By this time Kakashi had already deciphered the seal and had Naruto send Shadow Clones to take them off. As punishment of not being able to swim back up with the weights, Gai and Lee both took on Sasori and Deidera respectively while the others retrieved Gaara and allowed Chiyo to bring him back to life. Together they managed to kill 2 Akatsuki members and Lee earned the title "the green flash"


End file.
